


Faded Off This Touch

by DefaltManifesto



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Sex, Cock Warming, Dom/sub, Hand Jobs, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Orgasm Issues, Rimming, Service Kink, Sexual exploration, light humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 04:10:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13628343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: Bull is creative, Cullen gives him that.





	Faded Off This Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sonorousandloud](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonorousandloud/gifts).



> Oh look, I'm writing another fic grappling with the theme of: how to have sex when you hate orgasms. This theme is intriguing to me. Expect more like this in the future. 
> 
> This is also a super late Christmas gift fic for a friend! She's rad. I hope she like likes it.
> 
> Comments are loved!
> 
> Title from I Feel It Coming by The Weeknd because of course I'm still listening to this album someone help.

[The tumblr](http://defaltmanifesto.tumblr.com)

 

Cullen hates fucking. Well. No, he loves fucking he just hates the end result. Everyone else makes a big deal about coming, but every time he has, he finds himself twisting away from the sensation both physically and mentally. It leads to a lonely feeling that lurks in his chest for days after and a distinct feeling of shame for having just one more quirk that sets him apart from everyone else. Despite his reservations, he still ends up in bed with Bull.

It starts with a drunken conversation. Cullen rarely drinks, not wanting to trade the crutch of a lyrium for one of alcohol, but he ends his week with a glass or two on occasion. It’s on one such occasion he finds himself in the company of Bull who is definitely drunk and riding the high of his second dragon killing since joining their forces as a Tal-Vashoth.

“I’ll be honest. I thought all the dragon killing would make me more popular but I guess even a dragon slayer isn’t impressive enough to get someone as fine as yourself Commander,” Bull says.

Cullen spits his drink out into his cup as he starts to cough. Bull laughs and claps him on the back which…certainly isn’t helping. Once he’s regained his composure, even if he can feel his face flushed redder than…very red things, Maker he can’t even think.

“Finally, I was worried there was nothing I could say that would get a reaction,” Bull says. “It’s alright Commander. Not everyone can handle the Bull.”

“It’s not that,” Cullen says, then flushes more when he realizes what he’s implying. “I mean it’s not you, I just don’t want to do that with anyone.”

When he sneaks a look at Bull, there’s a thoughtful look in his face instead of the teasing one that had been there moments ago.

“That sounds like a conversation I shouldn’t have when in public,” Bull says. “But we’re gonna talk about that.”

“Of course we are,” Cullen says, letting out a long, sighing breath.

“Have a good night Commander. There’s a stable hand I needed to be flirting with yesterday,” Bull says.

Cullen watches him go and tries not to think too hard about the longing he has to talk to someone about his own…hang ups. It’s not important, not really.

 

-.-

 

He doesn’t expect Bull to follow up. But then he does and that’s how Cullen finds himself stumbling through an explanation about how he enjoyed sex as much as the next guy until sometime after he quit lyrium. He doesn’t mention that he quit lyrium after he realized he couldn’t remember the immediate four months after killing Meredith. It’s awkward to talk to someone about it. Still, it’s a relief to have it off his chest.

“You look like you’re waiting for me to laugh at you,” Bull says. “You’re hardly the first person in history to not like this sort of thing.”

Cullen tries not to let the disbelief show on his face. “Right.”

"Doesn’t mean you can’t fuck,” Bull says and Cullen wonders if the bluntness of his words will ever make him feel like he isn’t choking.

"Tell that to everyone else,” Cullen says.

Bull makes a big show of looking around the room and Cullen feels his head throb. “Pretty sure it’s just me and you in here.”

"You’re ridiculous.”

“You like it,” Bull says with a smile. “So. How about you give me a chance to show you how fun sex can be without an orgasm?”

“Does that usually work?” Cullen asks as his heart pounds faster. “Seems like a pretty poor pick up line.”

“Ask me how well it worked when we wake up in the morning together,” Bull says with an ever widening grin.

“Sweet Andraste,” Cullen mutters, the awkward absurdity of it all frustrating him. “You…just want a chance to brag about fucking the Commander.”

“Only if you let me brag. I don’t kiss and tell without permission,” Bull says. “It’s your call, but given how this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had, I’d say you’re really curious about if I’m pulling your leg or if I can actually make it good for you.”

Cullen tries not to squirm because that would be undignified but it’s hard not to with the heat of Bull’s gaze on him. “You’re not wrong. I’ve just never…”

“Been with a man?”

“No, I’ve just never had the point of it be focusing on…me,” Cullen says.

“Pity,” Bull says. “All you Templars and Chantry folk probably stick to strictly missionary huh?”

"Pretty much,” Cullen says, surrendering to whatever shame comes from his admittance of a lack of experience.

"So…are we doing this or no?”

Cullen stares at him, thoughts racing. “Fuck it. Sure.”

           

-.-

 

Bull is creative, Cullen gives him that. He gets Cullen on his hands and knees on the bed and eats him out until Cullen is boneless and limp on the bed, gasping against the pillow as he rocks back onto Bull’s tongue. Every few minutes his brain freezes, worries that Bull is gonna jerk his cock and make him come. When Bull just continues as he is, he sinks back into the sensation of warm heat and the occasional probing finger.

The pleasure itself sits low and heavy in his gut. His cock gets hard for a little while but by the time he’s so limp only Bull’s hands keep his hips up, he’s gone soft again. It feels good though, a hazy sort of feeling that has his brain offline. He wonders, distantly, if this is how sex feels for other people.

Bull pulls back and presses his thumb against his hole, a light tease before a harder touch and Cullen’s fingers curl in the sheets as it slides in. It’s so…pleasant. A light stretch but not painful like it had been in the past. Bull hums a thoughtful noise and then pulls his thumb back out. His hands let Cullen’s hips go and Cullen falls flat onto the bed, arms reaching up to curl around his pillow which feels embarrassingly juvenile but he feels too good to care.

“Satisfied?” Bull asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Yes,” Cullen says. Then his eyes fly open and he turns onto his back. “What should I do for you?”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Bull says. “Tonight was more about showing you that it can be pleasurable without coming but I’m not gonna turn down help getting off.”

“I’m not sure where to begin,” Cullen says, another flush stealing over his face and down his chest.

Bull tilts his head to the side. “Never gave anyone a hand job?”

Cullen shakes his head. “I’ve fucked someone and been fucked but never did anything else. It never came up.”

“I’m not gonna lie, you’ve got a weird sexual history,” Bull says, then holds up his hands in an unnecessary placating gesture. “Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just…different. So how about you lay back down and I’ll show you how I like my dick stroked?”

Cullen nods because for some reason the words hit him like a punch to the guts. It’s the idea that he’s being…taught. Something about it sends a thrill up his spine and he definitely doesn’t want to examine that too closely. Bull shifts up on the bed and straddles his stomach, staying up on his knees so Cullen doesn’t have to take his weight and Cullen can’t help but reflexively lick his lips when Bull shoves his pants down enough to get his dick out. He expects Bull to make a comment, but he just smiles and hands him a small vial of oil.

Cullen takes it and slicks his hand before reaching out and…Maker, Bull is big. His hand is big enough to wrap around him but it’s still enough to make him feel small in comparison which is yet another weird feeling he doesn’t want to interrogate. Bull’s skin is warmer than his too. Cullen gives him a slow stroke and then another before tightening his grip and doing it again.

"Fuck, just like that,” Bull says. “Tell me what you’re thinking. You look like you’re concentrating pretty hard there.”

Cullen bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from snarking back. “I just don’t want to disappoint you. I don’t know what I’m doing after all and…”

“This? You blushing and stumbling over your words while you jack my cock? That’s definitely the opposite of disappointing,” Bull says.

Cullen swallows and meets Bull’s gaze, his flush growing again when he does so. “My inexperience is a turn on?”

“Hell yeah,” Bull says. “And I think it might be for you too.”

Cullen drops his gaze back to Bull’s cock, then runs his thumb over the tip before stroking again. “A bit, yeah.”

“You like feeling insignificant? Like I’m teaching you to be more useful by making you learn how to get me off?” Bull’s voice is rougher now, hips pumping just a bit into Cullen’s hand.

“Maker, yes,” Cullen says, his own legs moving restlessly against each other as pleasure starts to move through his body in small waves at the words.

“Let go,” Bull says. “I want to come on your face.”

Cullen lets his eyes slide shut and then, after a moment, let’s his jaw drop open because that seems like the right thing to do and given the way Bull starts cursing in Qunlat he must be on the right track. Bull’s cock touches the edge of his mouth just as he comes. Cullen realizes then that he’d done it so he could aim, make sure all of his come for in his mouth and the thought makes his stomach given another low swoop of pleasure. He swallows it down, eyes blinking open as he considers the taste. Not enjoyable, but not terrible. And anyways, given the pleased expression on Bull’s face, he’s more inclined to do it again.

“Still feel good?” Bull asks, wiping a finger through a bit of stray mess on Cullen’s cheek and holding it to his mouth.

Humiliation chases the pleasure and then circles back on itself as he wraps his mouth around the offered digit and licks it clean. “Yeah…”

“You sure you don’t wanna come?” Bull asks.

He slides off Cullen to sit down beside him and Cullen realizes belatedly that he’s hard again.

"No, I’m good,” Cullen says. “I feel really…great.”

"Good,” Bull says with a smile, easy and friendly. “Don’t be afraid to tell me if you change your mind.”

"You think I will? That if you just touch me the right way, I’ll suddenly like it?” Cullen asks, trying not to sound defensive.

“I don’t expect it or think it’ll happen,” Bull says. “But you can always ask if you want, just didn’t want you to think it’s off the table permanently if you don’t want it to be.”

Cullen nods. “Right. Sorry. And uh…it was good for you?”

"Yeah Cullen. It definitely was.”

           

-.-

 

It turns out Cullen really likes it when Bull uses him, and he likes learning how to please him even more. Internally, he resists the knowledge for a day or two. Then he decides fuck it because Corypheus is still out there and he’s spent his whole life denying himself everything. He’s allowed _something_. It helps that Bull doesn’t seem to have an ulterior motive. Instead, he’s just interested in figuring out how to make Cullen enjoys himself.

Which leads to where they are now; Bull sitting at the desk in Cullen’s bedroom with Cullen on his knees holding Bull’s dick carefully in his mouth while Bull thumbs through one of Cullen’s books. Bull had put a cushion down before telling him to kneel. Then he’d guided Cullen down until half of his cock was in his mouth and…left him. Outside the occasional moment his fingers brushed through Cullen’s hair, he just left him there and went about his business as though Cullen’s mouth wasn’t worth a second thought. It made him feel like he’d been broken open in the best way.

The worst and best part is that he can’t help but drool and tear up from it. The tiniest shift makes him choke. He swallows as best he can but it’s not enough to keep up with the fact that his mouth is held uncomfortable wide by Bull’s dick. Somehow, it gets him off. Not literally, but he feels content and his dick is hard and arousal burns low and warm in his gut. There’s no pressure for it to go anywhere and that makes it even better.

He’s floating somewhere between aroused and moments away from sleeping. Not that he could without choking.

"That’s enough,” Bull says, closing the book and setting it aside. His fingers twist in Cullen’s hair and pull him back even as Cullen makes a soft noise of protest. “I know, you like have a cock in your mouth but I want something else now.”

Cullen wants to protest the words, out of habit, but he doesn’t bother given it would be an obvious lie. “What now?” The words come out rough and raw and Bull’s gaze seems more heated when he hears it.

“Now I want you on my dick until I come,” Bull says.

Lucky for him, that's exactly what Cullen wants too.

 

-.-

 

It’s a good dynamic. Cullen isn’t sure what it is, what he would call it, but there’s something rewarding about watching Bull find pleasure in his body. It’s why he enjoys riding him the most. That way, he can do all the work and feel the burn in his thighs and watch the expressions play over Bull’s face and that…for some reason that’s what makes him feel good. Maybe it’s the Templar training. The need to please was engrained deep back then.

But it could just be who he is, and it’s in the privacy of their bedroom that he can actually give into that urge. The rest of the world had already taught him all the reasons it wasn’t safe. Trust got you nowhere in the Chantry, but Bull isn’t apart of that and unlike everyone else in Cullen’s life, there’s no benefit for Bull to betray his confidence. Perhaps it’s cynical to think that way. Better cynical than dead.

The best part is, when they’re together, Cullen doesn’t have to think about that. There’s no time or reason for his thoughts to spiral into an anxious knot as to what’s proper and what could get him hurt or compromise him when all he can think about is how to make Bull feel good.

“Just like that Cullen, fucking take it just like that…”

Cullen digs his fingers into the meat of Bull’s shoulders as he rolls his hips and squeezes down on his cock, milking him just the way he likes. The stretch of it, the reminder of how full he is, always makes his brain stutter and stop and the effect is worse when Bull starts complimenting him. Contradictory in substance and tone, the words twine around him and keep him floating.

After, when he’s tucked into Bull’s side, Bull shatters the peace with his words.

“I feel like I’m taking advantage of you,” he says.

Cullen rolls onto his back, mood souring. “You’re not. I like what we’re doing.”

“I know, I know,” Bull says, bed shifting as he sits up. “And believe me, I’m a pretty open minded person and I know you don’t need an orgasm to have a good time, but Cullen, we’ve been doing this for months. I feel like I’m the only one getting something out of this.”

Cullen sits up as well, turning back towards Bull. “This is the best sex I’ve ever had. I don’t know how else to convince you of that so if you can’t accept it, maybe we shouldn’t be doing this.”

Bull runs a hand down his face and makes a frustrated noise. “I hear what you’re saying, I do. I just…like to come.”

“I’m aware,” Cullen says, voice dry. It’s worth it to see Bull snort and grin in response, diffusing some of the tension. “I just don’t want to keep doing something if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“How about you explain it to me then, more in depth? What don’t you like about it? Maybe if I understood that I’d feel less like you’re lying about it to indulge me,” Bull says.

“It’s like…a bad muscle cramp,” Cullen says.

Bull tilts his head to the side. “Okay…”

“And the rest is like a good stretch after a hard battle,” Cullen continues, hoping the metaphor makes some degree of sense. “So then if I come it’s like instead of a satisfying stretch, everything cramps up and just hurts.”

“Alright, that makes more sense actually,” Bull says. “Then what exactly do you get out of the rest?”

Cullen stares at him. “You’re the one that showed me it could be enjoyable without coming. Shouldn’t you already know the answer to that?”

"Everyone gets something different out of the type of stuff you and I do. It’s about time I understand what you get out of it,” Bull says.

“You just want me to get all flustered,” Cullen says.

Bull grins. “That’s not the main goal but it’s a nice side benefit.”

Cullen rolls his eyes. “It’s…nice. To feel like I’m needed and giving someone what they need. It’s…serving.” He can feel himself blushing and when he looks down his chest is already getting splotchy. “Which maybe that’s wrong when I’m supposed to be a Commander but I never wanted to be a leader. I’m good at serving people, even if I know better than to ever give someone that degree of trust out in the real world again.”

“So you get to satisfy that need with me instead,” Bull says, not a shred of judgment in his voice. “That…makes a lot more sense. Thank you. I feel less like a greedy monster now.”

Cullen smiles and moves so he’s in Bull’s lap. “No, you’re definitely greedy. I don’t mind helping out though.”

Bull kisses him again and as far as Cullen is concerned, that’s enough conversation for one day.

 


End file.
